13th July 2010 - A Day to Remember

            Today is a special day for me, Y is it special?? It was like a year ago on this very day I fell in love. Yes I clearly and emotionally remember the height of senses at that instant. The heart beats, the sweating, the shyness, the fidgeting, the anxiousness, the awkwardness, the happiness, the first words etc. (crap this feelings could go on!!!). In every small emotion I feel her. The moment I saw her, the moment I spoke to her, the moment I looked her in her eyes, the moment she smiled, the moment she sat next to me, the moment I had to leave. These strong feelings all in a space of five minutes is what I call love. ” Pure Love at First Sight “.
            Later after months I proposed her. And just like that she rejected me and she moved on with her life leaving me deserted in the middle of nothing. I was left with myself and her memories. I honestly found it very hard to move on. But I did move into nights of sleeplessness, lack of concentrations, bad temper, smoking, boozing, and low morale etc.
             So what about the love I had for her. Where is it now? Where did it go? Has it vanished? Has it converted for another girl? Or has it transformed into hatred? Anger? Resentment? Jealousy?
            So does it mean I don’t love her anymore?
             Just because things dint work out between us, how could I completely change myself and wish terrible things for her. Moving on and forgetting the past is such crap. No one does it. One might take time to realize it. That’s all. No matter what happens, a small part of my heart will still wish her the best things in life and hope and eager for her to be back.
Wish we could celebrate this one year anniversary together happy and smiling. Just a wish.
PS: Oh if I would have moved on I wouldn’t have remembered this day I met her, wouldn’t be writing this!!!

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